(Emily Kaitz)
My Daddy was a man of letters
My Mama was a head of state
And when they got their chromosomes together
They gave me all of their recessive traits
I'm an embarrassment to evolution
My disposition is unstable and cruel
My blood's a catastrophic blend
'Cause I'm from the shallow end of the gene pool
My IQ is a negative number
I've got a sense of humor no one can stand
And my development was seriously encumbered
By playing music with the Lounge Lizards band
I'm a social director's nightmare
At dinner parties I just babble and drool
It's not easy making friends
When you're from the shallow end of the gene pool
Chorus:
I'm from the shallow end of the gene pool
My x-rays make the doctors laugh
When they tried to chart my EEG waves
Well I wasn't even on the graph
Biological research is booming
They're making breakthroughs like you wouldn't believe
They say genetic engineering in humans
Will someday soon be a reality
I'm gonna get me a DNA transplant
They're gonna rearrange my molecules
Some natural laws will have to bend
To get me from the shallow end of the gene pool