I wrote a song about a fetus named Cletus who tried To run for governor before he died He lived in California but traveled worldwide It was a big huge hit! Just...

John Thatcher Longley: Yo! Lars: John. JTL: What's up? Lars: Yo, I'm going to put the song about your house on The album. Is that cool? JTL: Uh... Yeah, I just...

Call me Ahab, what, monomaniac Obsessed with success unlike Steve Wozniak On the hunt for this mammal that once took my leg With my warn down crew and my man Qu...

My girlfriend hates you but I love your stuff I listen to it all the time, I can't get enough I dig your first CD (your debut), And Society of People Named Elih...

I spot an active drowning victim form a mile away, I save old men in seas like Hemmingway The swimming pool not taken? Watch out for Frost, Don't get busted lik...

(feat Jaret Reddick) It's 2006, the consumer's still pissed Won't take it anymore so I'm writing a list Don't try to resist this paradigm shift The music revol...

LARS: August 4th, 1990, kicking it across the bay, When we went straight to that island On that momentous day To explore it, not ignore it, like Christopher C M...

In a magical land, in a magical town Santa and his magic elves are hanging around Buiding magical toys for girls and boys To deliever to the world and bring chr...

[Club promoter:] Lars you're on in ten minutes You ready? [MC Lars:] I guess but I still got to write some lyrics [Club promoter:] Alright, just remember it's c...

Walking down the hall all the fifth graders swoon Autograph line every day in homeroom On the playground all the kids like to point and whisper Check his callou...

It's off the hook home slice, like a lucky fish All I wish is that you taste this like a Swedish dish It's the L-A-R-S, H-O double-R I-S And I represent CV, and...

The name's Hamlet and I've got a tale About madness, lust and a female Dad's a ghost and he roams the floors Lurks at night in Elsinore Got a pale face just li...

I met her in the thrift shop Bumping indie hip hop Calculator wrist watch Shins t-shirt and flip flops Queen of the hipster scene Straight out of Vice magazine...

(feat The Matches) (Lars) Go! Books about Evanescence (are not punk rock) Guns 'n' Roses watches (are not punk rock) Hello Kitty iPod cases (are not punk rock)...

CHORUS Humphrey the Whale should have GPS, Humphrey the Whale should get GPS CHORUS So you're not stuck in the Sacramento Delta, Humphrey! Fresh water is not go...

Oh snap, you know this track is fly, so get crunked up and don't ask why Post-rap, post-punk, post-Kurt Cobain, post Kool Moe Dee post-House of Pain Chuck D tol...

My friend Aileen made a time machine But was keen on keeping it shiny clean To travel back in time had always been my dream So I hatched a scheme and jacked the...

And people tried to put us down When iTunes bumped a post-Cold War sound My generation sat at the Mecca of malls, Times Square, I'm there, Viacom installs So we...

Internet relationships are not real Your heart people steal but identities conceal So here's a tale of warning for girls and boys Laptop computers can be danger...

Hes a No Exit G in the place to be, He goes to Stanford University And since Kindergarten he acquired knowledge, And after twelve grade he went straight to coll...

We got EAP in the house tonight, Edgar Allan Poe America's favorite anti-transcendentalist We're taking this back, way back, nineteenth century style [CHORUS] ...

CHORUS Roses are red, violets are blue My rhymes rhyme, but yours don't Hey! Im all up in your face like a rabid chimp, Ill eat shrimp on a blimp but I aint no ...

Sometimes Shakespeare's over done His constant sadness is no fun The comic relief's the best part Fans just can't wait for it to start The pain inside Macbeth i...

The following is an entirely fictional account Any similarities between people living or dead is entirely Coincidental just kidding She fell from the sky on a ...

I met you in September of 2000, My heart skipped a beat with feelings profound and I gave you my soul and virginity I loved you so much; you were the world to m...

Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles "Marty, Marty listen to me Bring me something the kids will cry for Get out there, and get us stoked!" Meet Marty, ...

Move over Kevin Bacon, 'cause I've got a new game It's called "Six Degrees of Kurt Cobain" The man was an icon of Generation X A sound between Joy Division and ...

You can take away my space ship You can take away my space suit You can even take away my space lasers But you can never, ever take away my space game I broke t...

9 o'clock class feels like five, asleep at three, so sleep deprived STAT-60 satisfies 2C, the math GER, not the one for me The Central Limit Theorem? Speak Engl...

Check this C major! Comin' straight outta Stockholm, a fun boy named Lars, Survived Loma Prieta, Mad Cow, and SARS I hit you with these flows like your name wa...

(feat I'll Bill) One night, backstage at Irving Plaza at a Madball show [Lars:] Hey yo I'll Bill - will you sign this for me? I found it at Amoeba it's the Gr...

(feat MC Chris) [Nate the RA:] Hey! Welcome to Mirrielees orientation My name's Nate, and I'll be your RA for this year Today, We'll be moving into our dorms ...

Well they hung John Brown in 1859 After his revolt did not go fine Trying to free the slaves was a noble cause, Like putting one's faith in the Wizard of Oz And...

Billy built a robot in his parent's garage, Because he had a list of problems that he needed to solve He said, "I'm sick of the Hills, Laguna Beach is fake and ...

Hey England let's kick it Cops without guns and the NME Should I watch the BBC or should I watch the BBC? Look at these crazy coins, is this Lord of the Rings?...

Come gather around kids Did you know that everythings bigger here in America We've got the biggest cars, the biggest buildings And even the biggest corporate em...

Aesias Finale, this song is for everyone who's been stepped over Looked past, ostracized, diminished, forgotten This song is not for self-promotion but a wake u...

I wish, I was a little bit hyphy, I wish E-40 liked me I wish, I didn't crash going ghost riding nightly Wish, I didn't have to face the fact that I'm whack on ...

Bam! I'll explode, just like I were a bomb Flying over Vietnam high with my Uncle Tom Or sitting in a cabin having a sip of tea, While a parrot sings a song in ...