DIRECTOR OF ADMISSIONS

Director of Admissions, my ma's an engineer,
My sister's a computer, my brother is a gear,
My father is a robot, my grandpa's also queer,
Leaping logic, naturally I'm here!

Dear Roland B Greeley, according to you,
I oughta study history at Smith or BU
I ain't husband hunting, they're ill-gotten gains
Deep down inside me I got brains, We got brains!

We got brains, we got brains, we got hairy brains,
Like inside the least of us is brains

Dear fascinating Techman, you gotta understand,
That when I'm doing physics, I cannot hold your hand
It's not I'm anti-social, it's flunking out I fear
Creeping Cambridge, that's how I'm still here!
Dear drab lifeless coeds, it's really a shame
You're lacking social polish and your training's to blame
You look more like oysters than ravishing pearls
But deep down inside you, you are girls, We are girls!

We are girls, we are girls, we are female girls!
Like we're biologically girls!

Dear philanthropic Fassett, I'm socially deprived,
I'm lacking proper culture, I never have arrived
You think your dormitory is gonna cure these ills,
OK Freddie, you can pay the bills!

Yea, verily coeds, it's for your own good,
This way we can be certain that you live as you should
Financial arrangements are easily made
All 50 students will get aid We got aid!

We got aid, we got aid, we got student aid!
Yea, the best of us got student aid!
The trouble is we're ladies, the trouble is we're slobs,
The trouble is we're brainy, the trouble is we're snobs,
The trouble is we're learning, the trouble is we've learned
50's aren't so casually earned!

Dear Kenneth R Wadleigh, we're down on our knees
We have all been told about the birds and the bees
Dear Kenneth R Wadleigh, what are we to do?
Gee, Kenneth R Wadleigh

Tune: Officer Krupke
@parody @college @school
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