(musical intro)

A used
Pink bathrobe,
A rare
mint snowglobe,
A Smuf
TV tray
I bought
On E-Bay
My house
Is filled with
This crap
Shows up in
Bubble wrap,
Most every day
What I bought
On E-bay
Tell me why
I need another pet rock!
Tell my why
I got that Alph alarm clock!
Tell me why
I bid on Shatner's old tupee!
They had it
On E-bay
I'll buy
Your knick-nack
Just check
My feedback
A-plus-pluss
They all say

They love me
On E-Bay
Gonna buy:
A slightly damaged golf pack,
Some Beanie Babies
New with tax,
From some guy
I've never met in Norway
Found him
On E-Bay
I am the type
Who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left
To go
Woah
Got Paypal or Visa
Whatever'll please ya
As long as I got
The dough!
I'll buy
Your chatchkeys
Sell me
Your watch, please
I'll buy, I'll buy,
I'll buy, I'll buy
I'm highest bidder!
Junk keeps arriving
In the mail
From that
world-wide garage sail
Hey! A Dukes of Hazard ash tray!
I bought it on E-bay
Wanna buy?
A Packman Feaver lunch box?
A case of vintage tube socks?
A kleenex used by Dr Dre?
They had it
On E-Bay
Wanna buy?
That Farrah Fawcett poster?
Pez dispencers and a toaster?
Don't know why
The kind of stuff you'd throw away,
I'll buy
On E-Bay
What I bought
On E-Bay
(music fades out)