Verse 1
A Sultan sat on his oriental mat, in his harem in downtown Persia,
He took a sip of coffee, just a drip, and he said to his servant Kersia,
?Ah, curse ya, curse ya, curse ya, That?s the worst cup of coffee in Persia!?

Chorus
??Cause
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot,
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!?

Verse 2
In days of old when knights and men were bold, and whiskey was much cheaper,
Burt Turpin rode to a coffee shop and showed his pistols to the keeper,
He said ?Stand and deliver! Can?t you see that I?m all a?quiver??

[Repeat Chorus]

Verse 3
When Bonaparte found that he was in the cart and he lost that Waterloo fight,
He gave his sword to Wellington, my Lord, and he said ?Those British can?t half fight,
Now you?ve had your Waterloo, sir, tell me what am I having with you, sir??

[Repeat Chorus]

Verse 4
Now King Solomon and his queen would carry on, so we heard in the ancient scandals,
He bought her lots of silver coffee pots with diamond legs and handles,
And said the Queen of Sheba, "I?d rather have any old tea-bag?

[Repeat Chorus 3 Times]