All my days
I live with my disgrace
I'm afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don't have a matching set
It's a part of me
That just aint there
Please, don't stare

Well I'ma gambling man with out two dice
I'm like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But I'm half a man
Yeah, I'm half a man

Wanna die
End it all, just call it quits
I can't find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dum
When I hear "ball one"

Oh, my God
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that's there must feel so sad
He's a lonely nad

Well I'ma marathon runner with just one leg
I'ma fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
Cause I'm half a man

Well I'ma tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And I'ma Siskel and an Ebert with just one thum
And I'ma Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
I'm just half a man
Yeah, I'm half a man