I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night as I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

I think I'll break off with my girlfriend
Her antics are queer, I'll admit
Each time I say, "Darling, I love you"
She tells me that I'm full of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Our baby fell out of the window
You'd think that her head would be split
But good luck was with her that morning
She fell in a barrel of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

My old lady died in a bathtu
She died from a terrible fit
In order to fulfill her wishes
She was buried in six feet of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

When I was in France with the army
One day I looked inside my kit
I thought i would find me a sandwich
But the darn thing was loaded with
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

And now folks my story is ended
I think it is time I should quit
And if anyone of you feel offended
Push your head in a bucket of
Shaving cream, be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen