I know girls like you
Need someone to screw-up their life
And make you contemplate suicide,
When you need a friend to
Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah
Call me yeah

You need someone bad,
To irritate your dad,
Someone to make you cry,
And sock you in the eye,
When you need a friend to
Bring you to your knees,
Call me yeah

Am I angry enough? Am I crazy enough?
Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough?
Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough?
Am I jealous enough?
Am I selfish enough to be
Your bridge under troubled water, yeah!

You like pain, you're insane
You can key my car,
And punch my face in the bar
When you blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah
Call me oh yeah

Am I angry enough? Am I crazy enough?
Am I stupid enough? Am I lazy enough?
Am I drunk enough? Do I flunk enough?
Am I jealous enough?
Am I selfish enough to be
Your bridge under troubled water, yeah!

Am I boring enough?
Am I snoring enough?
Am I demanding enough?
Un-outstanding enough?
Am I fat enough? Mad enough?
Am I bad enough? Wear plaid enough?
Am I drunk enough?
Smell like a skunk enough?
Do I wank enough?
Do crank enough to be
Your bridge under troubled
Your bridge under troubled
Your bridge under troubled water!