[dialogue]
Music industry man: What kind of song do you want?
Jennifer Lopez: Something hot and spicy!
[melody comes on]
Jennifer Lopez: Spicier
[melody changes]
Jennifer Lopez: Spicier!
[spicy melody comes on]

[Jennifer Lopez (aka Eric Cartman's left hand)]

Burrito Taco taco Burrito Taco Taco taco
Don't think just because I got a lot of money,
I'll give you taco-flavored kisses, honey
Fulfill all your wishes
With my taco-flavored kisses

Taco taco Burrito burrito Taco taco
Fulfill all your wishes
With my taco-flavored kisses! Taco taco

[dialogue]
Music industry dude: She's fantastic! Who is she?
Different music man: Believe it or not, her name is Jennifer Lopez!
First guy: That makes sense, she reminds me of J-Lo
2nd guy: Yeah, but she's younger and spicier!
Jennifer Lopez (singing): Taco taco Burrito burrito Taco taco
2nd guy: I don't think J-Lo would like it very much if we signed this new girl
1st guy: No, you're right We're gonna have to fire J-Lo
[melody changes]
Different guy: All right, Ms Lopez, let's take it from the top

[Jennifer Lopez (aka Eric Cartman's left hand)]

Baby, let's make a run for the border,
I've got a hunger only tacos can stop
I know exactly what I'll order
Three tacos, two tostadas, and a soda pop

[Music industry dude]

Gentlemen, we have ourselves a hit

[Jennifer Lopez (aka Eric Cartman's left hand)]

I need to make a run for the border
If you pay, I'll take off my top
Do you remember what I want to order?
Three tacos, two tostadas, and a soda pop

Yea-ah, and don't forget the hot sauce, chulo

[dialogue]
Sexy automobile: *car driving noises*
Jennifer Lopez: Oh, Ben, I am so happy The cool breeze blowing through my hair in your sexy automobile
Ben Affleck: Let's spend the whole day together!
[romantic music comes on]

[Jennifer Lopez (aka Eric Cartman's left hand)]
Oh, Ben, you are so perfect
So spectacularrr in every way
You bring light into my life, Ben
You almost make me forget all abouttacoos!
Ooh, tacos so good in my tummy yummy yummy give me more
(camera noises in background)
I love you, Ben, you almost make me forget abouttacoooos

[dialogue]
Sexy automobile: *car driving noises*
Ben Affleck: Jenny, I have to tell you something II think I love you
Jennifer Lopez: Oh, I love you too, Ben! But
Ben Affleck: But what?
Jennifer Lopez: But what if you still have feelings for the slut with the large ass?
Sexy automobile: *car stopping noises*
Ben Affleck: I still care for her, you have so much more going onup here
Jennifer Lopez: Oh, Ben Ben
Ben Affleck: Jenny, can I kiss you?
Eric Cartman: NO!!
Jennifer Lopez: Yes, oh yes, Ben, kiss me!
Eric Cartman: Aw, God damn it!
*Jen and Ben make out*
Eric Cartman: Aw, aw, dude!
Ben Affleck: Mmm, just like tacos
Jennifer Lopez: Taco-flavored kisses for my Ben
Ben Affleck: You're so hot, baby
Jennifer Lopez: I make you hot, Ben?
Ben Affleck: Mm, yeah
*making out continues*
Ben Affleck: Oh, Jenny Oh, Jenny!
*pants unzip, noises occur*
Jennifer Lopez: Yes
Ben Affleck: Oh, God, Jenny!
Jennifer Lopez: Oh, Ben, my darling!
Ben Affleck: Oh! Oh! (continues)
Eric Cartman: Oh, sick! Aw, that's it, we're leaving now!
Ben Affleck: But I love her!
Jennifer Lopez: Ben!
Ben Affleck: Jenny! Jenny, I'll call you!
Jennifer Lopez: I love you, Ben!
[music comes on]

[Jennifer Lopez (aka Eric Cartman)]
Ooh, baby, baby, can I have your tacos?
Those tacos sure look good!
I'm just Jenny from the hood!
Ooh, can I have your tacos?
Ooh, I--
Oh, stop, stop!
(music stops)
What the hell is wrong with you!?
You chulos can't even keep a beat!
I deserve better than this!
I am Hennifer Hlopez!
Where's my water?
Not Evian, Pellegrino you stupid bitch!!
(music industry man whimpers)