Oh bless me Father, bless me Father for I have sinned It's been twenty five years in this skin I'm living in Forgive me, forgive me and I'll not let you down Li...

If you're Happy and you know it Give homeless People, Venetian blinds 'Cause what they want more than your pity is a bit of bloody privacy Big Issue, Big Issue ...

A stinking sun burned me awake, Through the shattered windowpane, I recalled through the eyes of claret red, He had taken me again And the hair of the dog reviv...

It's a broad lic nic And I'll tell you while I'm able Or I'll smash your skull If you're not drinking up Black Label It's a hard man's drink And though the bott...

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy Lordy, Lordy, Lordy When Jonah walked down into that whale (Lordy, Lordy, Lordy into that whale) He thought that he was walking down into H...

The carnal carnival is in town I think I'm going down (we will) The sexual festival's such a thrill It makes me just want to kill kill kill kill kill kill Sorry...

Father, son, holy ghost! Catholic girls on LSD Love nuns who have bad habits Protestant chicks get their kicks From downing Mummy's tablets Most everyone's on ...

Four inches of blackening tar clogging up my pores And forty cents' worth of Woolworth's soap To leave me smelling like a whore My mouth is just a tunnel Where ...

My tag's Tall Tim (no need to shout) I said that's my name (so don't wear it out) You see me here, I'm running hot I'm a juicy hamburger 'cos I got the lot I go...

'Weird Lady' It's written in blood, in the Book of Revelations A passage that predicts the fate of all nations Chapter 12, verse 5, speaks of the comet That se...

I was floating through the cemetery late last night When I saw a ghost who was outta sight He said 'Down in the graveyard there's a party going on So get down (...

Ah, ah, ah [Chorus] Please get out of the toilet my man Hell no, I'm doing drugs Please get out of the toilet my man Oh no, let me do my drugs Came to the disco...

Baby, do you understand me now? Sometimes I seem a little mad Don't you know no one alive Can always be an angel When things go wrong, you're bound to see some ...

Please get out of the toilet, my man (Oh no, I'm doing drugs) Please get out of the toilet my man (Oh no, I'm doing drugs) Went to the disco with half a pound ...

I went out to the slug and toad Drinking with the lads They disappeared at closing time And left me with the ta Someone slipped me a creme-de-menthe I confess I...

'you know a wise man once said, never judge a book by its cover, always read the whole thing in the bloody book shop and then decide if you wish to purchase it ...

I don't know much about ART but I can tell you this Duchamps's Urinal is a piece of piss Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face (So What) Me, I've got a mes...

Loudly let the trumpets bray Tum Tum Tara, Tum Tum Tara Ladies and gentlemen we present for you now the lost songs of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Mikado" These song...

If you want to know who we are If you want to know who we are We are gentlemen from Japan We are gentlemen from Japan Shall I babysit for your sister Gwen? I sh...

We should all go back to church cos they've hit the market place They're getting fashionable ideas from back issues of "The Face" They've bought part shares in ...

I'm a patchwork quilt of a man, babe Think I've got too many side It's the tormented struggle of each da Keeping all these fears locked inside Did you dance wi...

Oh, it's a curse But what worse is the sorrow Of the shadow that haunts my life (Heaven knows) I'd be the last to complain But this feeling remains That somehow...

I Fuck Dogs In the park, at the docks When the moon is up high in the sky The great dane is too tall chiwawa's are to small but the dog that I like to quell up ...

Shalalalalalala shalalalalala, Shalalalalalala shalalalalala, Shalalalalalala shalalalalala Shalalalalalala shalalalalala, Shalalalalalala shalalalalala, Shalal...

(Noeman Whitfield - Barret Strong) I bet you wonderin' how I knew 'bout your planes to make me blue Whith some other guy you knew before Between two of us guys ...

Well I flipped my wig in the Valley of the Dolls Went on a teenage rampage, what a trip, trip, trip This psychedelic retro that they don't understand Open up yo...

What are your hands, Jack? Black from the coal What is your back, Jack? Snapped and cracked from digging it, digging it Watch that soul What are your hands, Ja...

She was gifted in warfare, sweet as a sparrow Bom ba-ba bom bom bom bom Her sword was truth, her faith her armour Bom ba-ba bom bom bom bom Oh Joan of Arc, Joa...

You've been flirting like crazy Since I walked in through the door You were so damned obvious I almost licked the floor And though you're not attractive There i...

Set 'em up, drink 'em down And pass the cup around It's the last we will share for quite some time I've shaved my head, wear a dress I've left my bonny wife I'v...

I won a big prize in a magazine A night in Ramsay Street with what's-his-name and Charlene I sat there eagerly with my private invitation My thoughts were fille...

My soul was pierced by the Lord's blessed spear My eyes were blinded by his light My heart is witness to a burning passion I am unworthy before his sight Deliv...

I love, a girl called Maria, Her name is Maria They call her Mari, Mari Mari, Mari, Maria She loves a guy who's a maori A New Zealand maori Yes, he's a maori, m...

Uno cerveza! Uno, dos, tres, quatro! Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein cha-cha-cha! Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein cha-cha-cha! Arriba! Here comes the German Reunification Ca...

Hi ma, I've come back home 'Cause I don't like this world we live in For all my faults and failures Please tell me I'm forgiven I want my old womb back My cosy ...

Broken down ditch water brown Pure radiance in another dead city I heard a voice alluring and cool say "Live to ride, ride to live, hey!" Engine's blown, the ga...

Hi Ma, I've come back home 'Cause I don't like this world we live in For all my faults and failures Please tell me I'm forgiven I want my old womb back My cosy ...

My baby's gone to jail She won't be out for quite a while My baby's gone to jail Cos she set fire to my child Do you know what she did? She charcoal grilled the...

We're talking to a blind cripple woman with a hairy back who claims to be be Michael Jackson's only secret friend We'll take a break and be back in 3 1, 2, 3 Ph...

(Spoken) "We're talking to a blind cripple woman with a hairy back who claims to be Michael Jackson's only secret friend We'll take a break and be back in thre...

I met her at the 'Sailor Arms' A bar down by the docks Full of prostitutes and deviants And fellows wearing frocks Went there to drown my sorrow My misery and p...

Let's dig, let's jump Let's get into the river and a-humma-humma-hump Your tail, tail wag Let's get into the kennel and shagga-shagga-shag Shang-a-lang, shang-a...

Skippy's all grown up he's not a joey anymore He's interested in getting pissed and passing out on the floor, Oi! He glassed Mat Hammond with a bottle of stout ...

Sooty's all grown up he's not a puppet anymore He's interested in getting pissed and passing out on the floor, Oi! He glassed Basil Brush with a bottle of stout...

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha Lust crazed and underage and teenage rampage EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT SHIT Bible bashing hory story B...

I will come for you at night time And I will raise you from your sleep I will kiss you in four places As I go running up your street And I will squeeze the life...

With a downward blast From his doughy arse Like a lance of fire He shot up the mast As he mumbled blasphemous epitaphs "I am the sailor!" And the captain cried...

When I get famous There'll be so many people want to know me So if you want to know me right now You'd better make some kind of an effort When I get famous ther...

(Tim reads this poem) If I asked all the women of the world what it was to be a lesbian, they would be silent, oh mother And yet, if I was to ask all the men (m...

I'm wet and I'm moist So come on let's rejoice In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts And the fact that we are all young adults And lie back on your ...

I'm wet and I'm moist, So come on let's rejoice, In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts, And the fact that we are all young adults And lie back on y...