There is a place I long to go, and I confess,
It's Peyton Place
They've got a brand-new meaning for "togetherness"
In Peyton Place
You should go there if you are feeling lost and lonely;
As you drive into town it says, "For Adults Only"
Peyton Place, that's where you'll find me,
Leaving my qualms behind me

I'm gonna run away from here and make my home
In Peyton Place;
They've got their own decline and fall of ancient Rome
In Peyton Place
Everyone's moral fiber's in complete decay there;
They've got a problem cleaning up the PTA there
Peyton Place, USA

Everyone walks around the square so overjoyed,
In Peyton Place;
That's where they put the statue up of Sigmund Freud,
In Peyton Place
They've got a new library there, but here's the snapper:
Every book in it's covered in a plain brown wrapper
Peyton Place, where the good life is,
Depending where your wife is

Nobody's got an overdose of scruples
Down in Peyton Place;
All of the teachers learn things from their pupils,
Down in Peyton Place
There is a faithful husband there, you oughtta see him;
He is the main exhibit in the town museum
Peyton Place, USA

They're giving promiscuity a real bad name
In Peyton Place;
That is where "Spin the Bottle" is an adult game
In Peyton Place
And if you care to know just how their evenings go there,
Nobody's ever seen "The Johnny Carson Show" there
Peyton Place, USA, my kind of town
It's Peyton Place, USA!