How do you show someone you love that they are the one? So many ways to express love, it's hard to choose just one How you gonna do it? Some people like to kis...

We're floating in space on the edge of time In a universe that we can't define Billions of stars in the endless night Try and find purpose for our lives Yet we ...

Are we recording? I wrote this song last night, I'm not sure about some of the lyrics, but I'll give it a shot John's new girlfriend is a cunt I don't know wha...

Bootlegs & B-Sides Lyrics, Transcript, & Video by Jon Lajoie Jon Lajoie on Bootlegs & B-Sides: Hi everyone This is a video of stuff I never released because it...

I thought maybe I'd find a friend Or maybe I'd meet a girl Have a great conversation with a stranger On the other side of the world Or maybe learn something ne...

It was late at night on Christmas eve I was dreaming of the soft white snow I was awoken by a noise near the Christmas tree What it was I did not know It was S...

There are so many different kinds of trees There are so many different kinds of trees There are so many different kinds of trees There are so many different kin...

Hey yo! Fuck NWA (Get the fuck outta here) Fuck G Unit (fuck that shit) Fuck D12 (motherfucker! ) Get the fuck out of the way (fuck you bitch! ) Normal motherfu...

I am just a regular everyday normal guy Nothing special about me Mother Fucka I am just a regular everyday normal guy When I go to the clubs I wait in line Moth...

I'm just a regular everyday normal muthafucka I told you in the first song, I'll tell you in another I'm just a regular everyday normal motherfucker I don't hav...

Yo, other rappers claim to not give a fuck Well, step aside, bitches Cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible (I don't give a fuck) About anythi...

[Jon Lajoie] Are you tired of this happening (can't eat) What about this (can't play guitar) And how many times has this (can't hold the phone properly) happen...

Have you ever watched the sun go down? And you're thinking bout' the world spinning round Have you ever been high as fuck? You're in the bathroom mirror talking...

Some guys are good at talking to girls Some guys have all the money in the world Some guys wear fancy shoes and pants I'm not one of those guys, But baby, I can...

Did you miss me Oooh, yeah What, what MC Vagina's right back in this bitch Two thousand nine is the year that I recorded this song Still not loving police Still...

If I had wings I'd fly away from here But wherever I land people would think that I was weird They'd be like why do you have wings Did your mom have sex with a ...

I can see it in your eyes girl That you're in the mood for love So I light some candles, pour some wine Come sit down on the rug But there's something I must t...

I have to stop listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my penis I should be studying and I'm working har...

I can see it in your eyes, girl, that you're in the mood for love So I'll light some candles, pour some wine, let's sit down on the rug But there's something I ...

Oh my god did you hear about Michael Jackson? Yeah I heard about Michael Jackson, it's crazy right? Yeah I can't believe it All of a sudden the media is on his ...

What's a nine-five job? It sounds exactly like what I want Young man, that is one party that you may not be able to handle Nine to five, nine to five Monday to...

Girl I'm a sexual attractive man That makes me a good artist This is my new single I hope you like it Wealthy men hired me To sing this song That they wrote fo...

Hello boys and girls, It's time to learn about potty time Do you feel a ca ca in your bum-bum Or a pee-pee in your wee-wee? Well, come along and sing with me P...

It starts off like a thousand other songs that you've heard before Except in this one they do a little do do-do do do dodoo So you try to change the station but...

Women are stupid and I don't respect them that's right I just have sex with them Show me your genitals, your genitals What! Show me your genitals Genitalia! Sh...

Aahhh yeah, I'm back bitches Women are equal and they deserve respect, Just kidding, they should suck my dick Vagina (what! ) vagina (what! ) I want to have sex...

Britney, I can feel your sadness The world is filled with madness, And everybody takes it out on you And there's nothing you can do but Girl I want you to know ...

I'm a stay at home dad I'm on paternity leave I'm a stay at home dad It's just the baby and me I'm a stay at home dad While my wife's at work I got a bottle in...

It's Sunday afternoon And there are a few things that I have to do And I'm gon' do 'em I'm gon' do 'em It's Sunday afternoon And there are a few things that I ...

It's your birthday today, What does that mean I guess I'll try to explain, That twenty-one years ago on this day, It was the first time your parents saw your be...

(Dialing) Bob (Jon): Can't believe this B: I'm gonna kill this motherfucker *sigh* Jake (the other guy): Hallo B: Hello, Jake J: Uh, hi there Bob How is it g...

I can run a hundred miles without stopping for rest I can stay underwater for five minutes on a single breath When I focus my mind I always reach my goal But th...

In the planet of Earth I am the most famous person of the world Everybody knows who I am even the people who don't know who I am Because I am very super famous ...

[MC Confusing] Other rappers are comprehensible - not me! First on the mic - MC Confusing! I took a piss on my nutsack and called it Jack Black It's a fact, I ...

MC CONFUSING: Mc confusing back in this bitch With a parking sandwich and chicken ticket I got a liquid face lift from a a figg with big tits And my wrist got t...