The season in London has started to bore
There's nothing to do there you've not done before
The people are tiresome
The parties, a chore,
We just couldn't stay there for one minute more

The weekends in London have lost all their fun
Now Wimlbedon's over
The test match is done
Now Henley has finished and Ascot has run,
It's time for the country, it's time for the sun

There isn't any doubt about the best place we know
It's Hareford Hall in Hampshire where the smart people go
If the Duchess does invite you then you're top of the tree
Thanks goodness, thank goodness she did write to me
She did write to me

The atmosphere will lighten when we all take the air
And ev'rything will brighten when we find ourselves there

You'll din no one will force you to waken at dawn
There's breakfast in bed and there's lunch on the lawn
And if there inches you'd like to work off
There's swimming!
There's croquet!
There's tennis!
And golf!

Without equivocation we can all recommend
The noble institution of the Hareford weekend
It has it's social equal no-where else in the land,
There's no other home so stately and grand
So stately and grand

The atmosphere has heightened now we're near Hareford Hall
The younger guests are frightened who've not been here at all

But you're welcome so long as you keep to the rules,
The Duchess has never been partial to fools!
But really so long as you know what is done,
You're happy enjoying your place in the sun

For a weekend at Hareford is simply divine
The people, the parties, the food and the wine
There's leisure and pleasure for every one
You're happy enjoying your place in the sun

It does seem such a pity that they can't find the heir
The family solicitor has looked everywhere
It's rumoured at the moment that he's tearing around
The Duchess demands that the heir shall be found,
The heir shall be found

Listen everybody for the news will soon be round,
The family solicitor has run the heir to ground
There's not a doubt about it, there isn't any snag,
He's dug him out of somewhere and he's got him in the bag
I've seen him, I've met him, he's here
And almost any moment (almost any moment, almost moment)
Any blessed moment he'll appear

Is he dark? Is he fair?
Do you think we shall care for the new Lord Hareford?
Is he short? Is he tall?
Do you think we shall fall for the new Lord Hareford?
Won't you tell us if you can, what you know about the man
Is he what we all expect? Is he circumspect?
Is he weak? Is he strong?
Does he really belong? Is he all he should be?
Well very soon you will see him
Very soon (very soon, very soon, very soon)
We shall see