When "Me and My Girl" originally opened in February 1986, it had the
Song "If Only You'd Cared For Me" at the end after "Leaning On A
Lamppost" However, by the time that it had opened up on Broadway
As well, the song had been cut and a new one ("Hold My Hand") added
Noel Gay had a vast collection of songs and when putting the revival
Together they shoved in some Noel Gay songs to pad it out

We were so much together, in the days that used to be
When both of us were young and fairly fancy free
I fancied in the marriage stakes, I knew a certainty
That I'd be Mister You, and you be Misses Me!
Since you and I first met, my dear
A lot of time has flown
It might have flown so differently,
If we had only known
To me you used to be the only onion in the stew
But you could never care me,
The way that I cared for you
You were a gay lethario
You nearly turned my head
I'd say today, a lot of guilt's
Worn off the gingerbread
But one among the crowd is what I never cared to be
So I could never care for you,
The way that you cared for me
Oh! To think what might have been,
Oh! The things we might have seen
You've seen plenty, I guess
Ha! And so have you!
Well more or less
Here we are today condemned to lead a lonely life
Squabbling as we do, we might as well be man and wife
We're not so young, but not too old
To make one up to two
If only you could care for me, as much as I cared for you
We mightn't care for married life,
Perhaps we're not that sort
We're getting old and crusty
Makes me think of vintage port
I wouldn't mind decanting one, and even one for you
If only you could care for one
As much as I'd care for two!
I rather think a glass of port is maybe not for me
Relax my dear, and have a glass,
It's much more fun than tea
I've never risked a glass of port since nineteen-twenty-two
It doesn't seem to care for me, as much as it cares for you
Ha! A drink would put you right!
Ha! Ha! Do you really think it might?
Best thing under the sun
Oh! Very well, but only one
Seek the butler's pantry and purloin the cellar key
Then we'll pour one down the hatch,
And maybe two or three!
We'll drink a toast to all the things,
We've had no chance to do
Because you never cared for me,
As much as I cared
For you!