Why did monkeys use my mouth as a toilet
And then decide to wipe with my hand?
Whys my big brain giving birth to a baby
And it's crying and kicking in my head?
That's the last time I get drunk
That's the last time I get wasted
That's the last time I have sex with someone I don't know
Yeah, but I can see my life is fucked
Yeah, but I can see my life is wasted
Yeah, but I can see the bars are open so lets get another round
Why did someone shave my head
And write dork in magic marker all over my face?
Whos that couple in my bed?
They hooked up last night, there's condoms all over the place
That's the last time I wake up in someone elses clothes
Where did I loose my cell phone?
Who stole all of my cologne?
Why the hell do I smell just like a bowling alley?
Is this the best that it gets?
Gentlemen please place your bets
Ill be laid in my grave before Im only 43