When I joined a band I thought my life was pretty cool
We'd stay in hotels with room service and pools
Sign body parts for fans
Check into rehab and smash up the van
But looking back I should have stayed in school

Life out on the road can be dangerous you see
Truckstop food and smelly roadies
Are not nearly as scary
As that girl who's at every show
Mouthing the words from the front row
The stalker girl is scaring the hell out of me

She's my creepy stalker girl
I'm the centre of her wacked out crazy and delusional world
She follows me every everywhere
She's even got a bag with some bits of my hair
Just go away you creepy stalker girl

She says I touch her in a very special way
But I'd never go near her now without my pepper spray
And the voices in her head
Said break into my house and sleep in my bed
And they also said that shaving the cat was okay

She's my creepy stalker girl
I'm the centre of her wacked out crazy and delusional world
She follows me every everywhere
She's even got a bag with some bits of my hair
Just go away you creepy stalker girl

I've analysed your handwriting and I've got some bad news
You're manic obsessive with abandonment issues
And you think that all our songs
Are about you and you're usually wrong
Except for now this song is so about you
You creepy stalker girl, you creepy stalker girl, you creepy stalker girl