The temptation is all too great,
To know it's gone and it's all too late,
I tried and I tried, I never applied,
Any of the morals that I wish I had

You wait fifty one weeks,
Through all of your hides and all of your seeks,
When the time finally arrives,
It dawns on me that your attention derives,
From the girlfriend that you left at home,
Sitting in your living room all alone

You hate the suntan,
And you can't stand to be around the short sleeve man,
And the gaggle of girls who are singing too loud,
Well they do my head in

You hate the tattoos and you can't handle the skinheads,
The ones who cannot handle their booze,
Their making you scared to be proud,
Are your scared to be proud
How can that still be
Come sing your heart out with me

But if you bide your time and you stand there and you wait in line,
It won't be long before her sarong is lying on your bedroom floor,
But what about your girlfriend that you left at home,
Sitting in her living room all alone

You hate the suntan,
And you can't stand to be around the short sleeve man,
And the gaggle of girls who are singing dead loud,
Well they do my head in

You hate the tattoos and you can't handle the skinheads,
The ones who cannot handle their booze,
Their making you scared to be proud
How is that still allowed?
That your scared to be proud
When your on cloud number 9

And the girlfriend that you left at home,
Sitting in her living room all alone,

You hate the suntan,
And you can't stand to be around the short sleeve man,
And the gaggle of girls who are singing too loud,
They fuckin' do my head in

You hate the tattoos and you can't handle the skinheads,
The ones who cannot handle their booze,
And their making you scared to be proud,
Oh your scared to be proud
When your on cloud number 9