i duno wat you heard about me,
but you aint gettin a smirnoff for free
you can sit urself on my knee
but keep your hands off my PINT

now sharon, shes in the pub shes pullin the pints
n pullin the punters if she thinks the price is right
shes into nuts and gin with slim line tonic
she plucked out her eyebrow n drew a line on it!
I don't buy her a drink I jus get her some pork scratchins,
keep her off my pint cos I think her warts catchin(urgh)
its pub quiz night n its bad for my health
she asked me 21 questions and there all about herself
she likes my hair she likes my car shes in the daily sport"¦
I don't understand a single word because she comes from york
im not that bloke that's only tryna get her into bed, (nop)"¦
im that bloke that's only tryin cos im off my head(yep)
we can leave now if your startin to get bored
we'l take the bus home because my nova's not insured
look love its simple if your sittin with me
sip your drink but don't touch my PINT

i duno wat you heard about me,
but you aint gettin a smirnoff for free
you can sit urself on my knee
but keep your hands off my PINT

bur-bur-bur-bur-burn unitttttttttt!
f-er-f-t-y pence that's me,
I work in the burn unit infirmary
NHS pention til im sixty three
and you no that im representin kings Langley
f-er-f-t-y pence thats me,
im a nature loving geezer you can find me in the tree
im accidently known and locally accepted
get off my pint
so now you no about me
yea love got my reebok classics on,
im bout to show you why my pint hand is quite strong
your not wrong if u think I got a lazy eye,
its cos I had a mishap with a steak n kidney pie
I down a pint the same way I down a glass of water
I swear I didn't no this bird was the landlords daughter"¦
burn,do,n-i-tizzy,
I bumped my head and now im feelin dizzy
iv got people in Watford that no how I get down
got a bird in hemmel a few mates in town,
iv got a job in macdonalds and im not messin around
iv got a big mac, mcflurry's and a quarter pound-errr
just put it on my ta
pick up a doner at millennium kebab,for closin time
and about the fighting
iv got a beer proof vest to avoid the pintingpintingpinting"¦

i duno wat you heard about me,
but you aint gettin a smirnoff for free
you can sit urself on my knee,
but keep your hands off my PINT
"¦ yea
now in Hollywood they say theres no business like show business,
wel in the pub dave said theres no business like the dough business,
he's a baker"¦
See if I talk really fast I sound like a prat
but if you listen real fast I don't gotta slow down
haha
yea