I dunno what you heard about me,
but you aint gettin a smirnoff for free
You can sit yourself on my knee,
but keep your hands off my PINT x2

Now sharon, shes in the pub shes pullin the pints
n pullin the punters if she thinks the price is right
shes into nuts and gin with slim line tonic
she plucked out her eyebrow n drew a line on it!

I don't buy her a drink I jus get her some pork scratchins,
keep her off my pint cos I think her warts catchin(urgh)
its pub quiz night n its bad for my health
she asked me 21 questions and there all about herself

she likes my hair she likes my car shes in the daily sport…
I don't understand a single word because she comes from york

im not that bloke that's only tryna get her into bed, (nope)…
im that bloke that's only tryin cos im off my head(yep)
we can leave now if your startin to get bored
we'l take the bus home because my nova's not insured

look love its simple if your sittin with me
sip your drink but don't touch my PINT
haha

I dunno wat you heard about me,(yeah)
but you aint gettin a smirnoff for free
You can sit yourself on my knee
but keep your hands off my PINT x2

bur-bur-bur-bur-burn unittttt! (hahaha)
F-I-F-T-Y pence that's me,
I work in the burn unit infirmary
NHS pention til im sixty three
and you no that im representin kings Langley
F-I-F-T-Y pence thats me,
im a nature loving geezer you can find me in the tree,
im accidently known and locally accepted

get off my pint!!!
so now you no about me

yea love got my reebok classics on, (wee)
im bout to show you why my pint hand is quite strong
your not wrong if u think I got a lazy eye,
its cos I had a mishap with a steak n kidney pie (oops)
I down a pint the same way I down a glass of water (slurp)
I swear I didn't no this bird was the landlords daughter…
BURN,U,N-I-Tizzy,
I bumped my head and now im feelin dizzy
I've got people in Watford that no how I get down
got a bird in Hemel,
a few mates in town,
iv got a job in macdonalds and im not messin around
iv got a big mac, mcflurry's and a quarter pound-errr
(haha)

just put it on my ta
pick up a doner at millennium kebabfor closin time
and about the fighting
iv got a beer proof vest to avoid the pintingpinting

I duno wat you heard about me,
but you aint gettin a smirnoff for free
you can sit urself on my knee,
but keep your hands off my PINT x2

… yeah
now in Hollywood they say theres no business like show business,
well in the pub dave said theres no business like the dough business,
and he's a baker…
See if I talk really fast I sound like a prat
but if you listen real fast I don't gotta slow down
haha
yea