Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living o...

Some girls like to buy new shoes, And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos There's only one thing that they all like a bunch Oh, girls, they wanna hav...

Well Me and my buddies got us some beer and a great big bottle of Rhine and boxes of ammo and guns to go with'em and good old Charley's glass eye well we look a...

Oh, I couldn't live a single day without you Actually, on second thought, well, I suppose I could Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, honey, you're the greatest ...

Oh some times I think back to when I was younger life was so much simpler then Dad would be up at dawn, he'd be watering the lawn or maybe going fishing again ...

Oh, I couldn't live a single day without you Actually, on second thought, well, I suppose I could Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, honey, you're the greatest ...

I do not like green eggs and ham I do not like them Sam, I am I do not like them here or there I do not like them anywhere I do not like them in a boat I would...

Gump sat alone on a bench in the park "My name is Forrest," he'd casually remark Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets He just kept sayin' life is l...

Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to you! Well it's time to celebrate your birthday, It happens every year We'll eat a lot ...

[sound effects from tools] Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right out of...

Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie Gotta boogie I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) I gotta boogie! (Gotta boogie) Gotta boogie on...

The doctor had compassion He tried to cure my disease I was sweatin' on the way to the op room Getting sedatives to put me at ease They put me on a gurney in a ...

@HEADLINE NEWS Lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic Music by Crash Test Dummies Once there was this kid who Took a trip to Singapore And brought along his spraypaint And...

There he goes, he drives me crazy When he says(Hee-eere's Johnny!) That's his job, it's so amazing All he says is(Hee-eere's Johnny!) I never miss a moment when...

(Al Yankovic) Oh, Harvey, Harvey Harvey the Wonder Hamster He doesn't bite and he doesn't squeal He just runs around on his hamster wheel Harvey, Harvey Harvey ...

Hi, this is "weird al" yankovic remember, if you have one or two of those traditional blueberry daiquiris this holiday season, please, let somebody else drive H...

[From "The Simpsons", Ep EABF12 - April 13, 2003 to the tune of "Life Goes On (Jack and Diane)" by John `"Cougar" Melloncamp] Little ditty 'bout Homer and Mar...

[12th Street Rag/Euday L Bowman] You're takin' to me good, Just like you know you should You get me on my knees, Please, baby, please [State of Shock/The Jack...

(I'm a hoe) I'm a hoe Yes I am baby I wear skimpy clothing it's very tight I work all night I was out tonight Waiting for someone to pay me You've probably seen...

If I could stick my hand in my heart Spill it all over the stage Would it satisfy you Would it slide on by you Would you think the boy is strange Ain't it stra-...

[State Of Shock] You're takin' to me good, Just like you know you should You get me on my knees, Please, baby, please She looks so great, everytime I see her fa...

I can't watch this I can't watch this I can't watch this I can't watch this My my my my TV makes me so bored Makes me say, oh my lord What is this garbage here...

I love to watch the Hummingbirds just hovering for hours They look like mini-helicopters pollinating flowers And yet I still feel sorry for the little Hummingbi...

[parody of feel like makin love by bad company] Baby, when we go to parties, I drink a buncha beer Then my tummy starts a-grumblin Feelin queer And then I fee...

Ohhhhhh I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV, Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a PhD I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just was...

I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool, Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old, And vanilla just leaves me col...

I was driving around in old Mexico I got lost i didnt know wich way to go I was confused it was late and i was in a fog, I ran over the taco bell dog I felt th...

Ohhhhhh I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV, Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a PhD I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just was...

Isn't it strange Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror What would people say If only they knew that I was Part of some geneticist's plan (plan-plan-plan) Born t...

I want a new duck One that won't try to bite One that won't chew a hole in my socks One that won't quack all night I want a new duck One with big webbed feet O...

Isn't it strange? Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror What would people sayif only they knew that I was Part of some geneticist's plan Born to be a carbon copy...

I want a new duck One that won't try to bite One that won't chew a hole in my socks One that won't quack all night I want a new duck One with big webbed feet On...

I don't care about your karma I don't care about what's hip No space cadet's gonna tell me what to do I won't swim in your Jacuzzi You can't make me settle down...

I don't care about your karma I don't care about what's hip No space cadet's gonna tell me what to do I won't swim in your jacuzzi You can't make me settle down...

So you got dry rot and your water pressure's weak Your trash compactor's broke, the roof has sprung a leak You just found out your toilet's overflowed And your ...

I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat Huh, I...

You tell a joke and forget the punchline Why you always wastin' my time? Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me You hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty I d...

Ooh yeah Oh I'm your shelter from the storm You'll know I'll always have your back I'll even let you warm your freezing hands inside my butt crack I never get o...

You tell a joke and forget the punchline Why you always wastin' my time? Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty I ...

Make a list Little Lars Never seen a scar Put his fans behind bars Can't you see MP3 Man you're stealin from me You shoulda bought a CD I keep my keyword open ...

(parody of "Peter And The Wolf" by Sergei Prokofiev) Hello, Boys and Girls This is a story that I like to call, "Peter and the Wolf" Are you sitting comfortably...

(parody of "Carnival Of The Animals" by Camille Saint-Saens) This is a new composition which features A random assortment of all living creatures You'll find th...

What's the matter with the songs he's singin' Can't you tell that they're pretty lame After listenin' to a couple albums Well, they all start to sound the same ...

Original: Its all about the Benjamins (Puff Daddy) It's all about the Pentiums, baby Uhh, uh-huh, yeah Uhh, uh-huh, yeah It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's...

jamie's got a gun, jamie's got a gun, miles on tha run, hayles dialing 911, wat made jamie snap, was he tired of miles crap They said when jamie was arrested, T...

It's been one week since we got to see Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry Five days since they had the show With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack h...

I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes and before long they were cloning DNA Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors Well believe me...

Hello, Kermit The Frog here And welcome to Sensamere Street I'd like to tell you what today's letter is But I am really f**ked up! Hey, hey Big Bird Do you know...

Met this fine young thing at the local Circle K She made a date for a half past eight, and I said, "What the hey" So I journeyed to her crib, and I let myself i...

La-la-la-la-lasagna You want-a some-a lasagna, magnifico, Or a-maybe spaghetti! Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go? Mama mia bambino! Mama mia bambino, ...

There's a sale on our gabardine suits today They're all thirty percent off from yesterday There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool and tweed Just a Visa or Mast...

Like A Surgeon Weird Al Like A Surgeon* by "Weird" Al Yankovic I finally made it through Med-School Somehow I made it through I'm just an intern, so I'll still ...

There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It loo...

(Steve Tyler/Joe Perry/Mark Hudson/Al Yankovic) There's somethin' weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't thr...

Here's a llama There's a llama And another little llama Fuzzy Llama Funny Llama Llama Llama duck Llama llama Cheesecake llama Tablet, brick, potato, llama Llam...

Oh boobie boobie Oh boobie boobie Oh boobie boobie my chest was supposed to grow My cleavege wasn't right no My boobies boobies my breasts are are compleatly ...

Me-he-he-helanie, What can the problem be? Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie, Why won't you go out with me? She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the G...

I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less, At the checkout counter at the local grocery store I was only passin' by, But a paper caught my ...

once their was this kid who took a trip to singapore and brought along his spray painting when, he finally came back he had, cane marks all over his bottom he s...

Beverly Beverly Hillbillies Now, looka here, people, listen to my story, A little story 'bout a man named Jed You know somethin', that poor mountaineer, They s...

I visit Mr Frump in the hospital I see him 'most every day And when I see Mr Frump in his iron lung, This is what I hear him say: (iron lung sounds) Ya know, M...

I visit Mr Frump in the hospital I see him most every day And when I see Mr Frump in his iron lung This is what I hear him say [deep breathing] Y'know, Mr Fru...

I need a Vegematic! I need a Pocket Fisherman! I need a handy appliance That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell! (Operators are standing by Ho...

Oh, my baby, my baby she don't want me no more Ever since she saw his poster in that record store She says the way he grinds his molars is really sexy She think...

I need a Vegematic! I need a Pocket Fisherman! I need a handy appliance That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell! (Operators are standing by Ho...

Kate: Why can't I be like you Jack? Jack: Come on let's do it here, I'll show you how Come on! Kate: What? Jack, no! Jack no! Jack: Come on No Jack I couldn't p...

Yo, check this out, It's a little bit of a problem that I got; Tell me, tell me, Uh, Its been resolved, But, it's, uh, a little bit strange Let me tell you a l...

HI my name is (huh?) my name is (what?) my name is (tiki tiki) Darth Vader HI my name is (huh?) my name is (what?) my name is (tiki tiki) Darth Vader The power,...

HI my name is (What?) my name is (Who?) my name is (chika chicka) Darth Vader HI my name is (What?) my name is (Who?) my name is (chicka chicka) Darth Vader The...

Coming this Christmas to a theatre near you, The most horrifying film to hit the screen There's a homicidal maniac who finds a Cub Scout troop, And he hacks up ...

Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn't have been any shyer Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him Even if his hair was on fire But then one day he went to that science...

Risin' above the city, blocking out the noonday sun It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone I still remember when that delivery truck came dow...

-Yep, 'Tis another fine music lyric file by: Adrian "Dementia" Brush -Hope you enjoy *One More Minute* by "Weird" Al Yankovic Well I heard that you're leaving ...

Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted 'Cause it's just one of those days It's just one of those days I l...

im the only gay eskimo im the only one i know im the only gay eskimo in my tribe i go out seal hunting with my best friend tarka but all i wanna do is get into...

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeahyeahyeah??? I think I -fart- again I made you believe that it wasn't me Oh baby it might make a girl...

(one, two, thray, four) (one, two [nasal hocking sound]) I used to be a pinball freak That's where you'd find me every week But now it's Pacman Yeah it's the P...

Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh Oooooh I'm always thinkin' 'bout it I don't know what I'd do without it I love, I really lov...

Finger food and an ice cold keg It won't cost you an arm and a leg Dance all night to a rotten band Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand Saturday night, it's...

I moved out to Langely recently With a plain and simple dream; Wanna infiltrate some third-world place And topple their regime Those men in black with their ma...

My mama told me when I was hatched Act like a superstar Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress And someday you will go far Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard t...

mutton dagger, old blind bo hanging johnny, fishing rod, tallywhacker, pocket rocket one eyed trouser trout ding dong, ankle spanker pork sword, engine cranker...

Once upon a time - I think it was last Thursday, a boy named Peter opened the gate and went out into the big green meadow On the branch of a big tree sat a litt...

Phoney Calls Weird Al Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening And you're stuck inside the house all alone That's when you decided it might be fun to harass s...

(parody of "Waterfalls" by TLC) Mom and dad are goin' out for the evening And you're stuck inside the house all alone That's when you decide it might be fun to ...

Mum mum mum mah Mum mum mum muh Oh whoa oh oh oh Can't read my, can't read my No, he can't read-a my polka face (She's got to love nobody) Can't read my, can't ...

Contains music & lyrics from: Sledgehammer Sussudio Party All the TIme Say You, Say Me Freeway of Love What You Need Harlem Shuffle Venus Nasty Rock Me Amadeus ...

You could have a big-dipper, Going up and down all around the bends, You can have bumber-cars, bumping This amusement never ends I want to be: your sledgehammer...

Everywhere, I see them there, I stop and stare at patterns I don't care, I must declare, I got a flair for patterns On my hair, the clothes I wear, my savoir fa...

Wannabe" by Spice Girls] Yeah, well, I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want (So tell us what ya want, what ya really really want) I'll tell ya what...

Rock the cradle of love Rock the cradle of love Yes, the cradle of love Don't rock easy, it's true Rock the cradle of love I rocked the cradle of love Yes, the...

Krabby, Snubbull, Venonat, Mankey, Chansey and Zubat Slowking, Ditto, Butterfree, Lugia and Caterpie Oddish, Poliwag, Goldeen, Elekid and Nidoqueen Victreebel a...

[Chicken Dance] Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's g...

[Jocko Homo/Devo] They tell us that we lost our tails, Evolving up from little snails I say it's all just wind and sails Are we not men, we are Devo Are we not...

They tell us that we lost our tails, Evolving up from little snails I say it's all just wind and sails Are we not men, we are Devo Are we not men, D-E-V-O Smoke...

Vern zol fun dir a blintsa (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin...

[with polka music in the background] Hi This is "weird Al" Yankovic fresh off my Alapalooza World Tour When I'm not busy signing autographs Fighting off mobs o...

[Rice Rice Baby] [Rice Rice Baby] Alright stop, grab a table and a menu Ice is back in his oriental venue Hungry, for a little chop suey I want Chinese, not Ho...

rice, rice baby rice, rice baby alright stop, grab a table and a menu ice is back in his oriental venu hungry, for a little chop sui i want chinese , not hong ...

Hey Lucy, I'm home! Oh, Ricky, you're so fine, You're so fine you blow my mind Hey, Ricky! Hey, Ricky! Oh, Lucy, you're so fine, You're so fine you blow my mind...