I'm aware some stare at my hair
In fact, to be fair,
Some really despair of my hair
But I don't care,
Cause they're not aware,
Nor are they devonaire
In fact, they're just square

They see hair down to there,
Say, "Beware" and go off on a tear!
I say, "No fair!"
A head that's bare is really nowhere
So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
Show it you care
Wear it to there
Or to there
Or to there, if you dare!

My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare
Did I care?
Au contraire!
Spare hair is fair!
In fact, hair can be rare
Fred Astair got no hair,
Nor does a chair,
Nor nor a chocolate eclair,
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frere!

So now that I've shared this affair of the hair,
I'm going to repair to my lair and use Nair, do you care?

(Beard Poem)

Here's my beard
Ain't it wierd?
Don't be sceered,
Just a beard