I wrote this song late last night about my brother and all his might
And you would be so very kind to listen to these words I've written
About the boy who seems quite smitten, but like no other you will find
'Cause, baby, I know the reasons why we were unkind

He's Laurel, he's Hardy, he's the life of the party
And he's got great taste in furniture
Wakes up at noon, plays the piano till he swoons, goes out for food
'Cause, baby, I know the reasons why we were unkind
But I gotta know why

Three years before me, you came out and cried
Boy, not a girl, where'd you get all that pride?
You are so very thin and I've always wanted to fit into your pants
Photogenic at first glance, but got something missing for romance

We share a mother, we do and a daddy too
Home on [unverified] avenue and a melancholy mood
With a rhapsody in blue
'Cause, baby, I know the reasons why we were unkind

First born son, son of a gun
I love you even more than when the song was begun
First born son, son of a gun
I love you even more than when the song was begun