I was the driver for the drive-by of the neighbor's dog
Dad had always hated him so he said "Come on son,
"Get into the Vega now and I'll go get my shotgun"
It was a military holiday and kids were everywhere
I hid behind the steering wheel and tried to disappear
I tried to speak but couldn't, Dad was whistling and drinking beer

And I prayed "Dear God, if You save this dog
"I will never get high, I will never jack off
"I will be all the things that I should but have not
"I'll be a good boy from now on"

We turned around the corner soon and saw the neighbor's yard
Dad lit up a cigarette and rolled his window down
And grinning like an idiot he stuck his head and body out

(Chorus)

Well he popped in a shell and took aim with the gun
Then a flash an a bang and the dog it was gone
Jumped up and he ran away
Dad had shot right through his chain

Dad said "Take me to the Dairy Freeze, I want to have a shake"
We sipped them on the benches there and stared out on the lake
And Dad has never said another word about that day

And I hope you're not disappointed, God
'Cause I still get high and I still jack off
And you knew I was lying but you still saved that dog
You're such a good God
Such a good, God damn backwards dog
And I'll be a good boy from now on