Once, not very long ago I was respected, I was popular (popular) But now I hang my head in shame My life is filled with such regret, Of that mistake, I can't fo...

The Shark is not a friendly fish That fact it's always proving It seems this creatures' favorite dish is Anything that's moving He'll chew your face off in a fl...

(knock, knock, knock) -Hey, let me in I gotta Go! -Wait didn't you just Go like, a half an hour ago? -Yeah, but I gotta go again! Oh, no! Got a girl with a re...

Where'd you learn how to steer? You do eighty in second gear When you drive, I can't relax Got your license from Cracker Jacks You just hit another tree These f...

Since you've been gone Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil Since you've been gone It's like I got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I'm ...

My friend from above Between those clouds We stand and watch Our mind is greeting us Bubbles of a clear day And the green plateu of anger A field, not a rice fi...

I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away Graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of H...

Since you've been gone Well, I feel like I've been chewing on tinfoil Since you've been gone It's like I've got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil Oh well, I...

What is this song all about? Can't figure any lyrics out How do the words to it go? I wish you'd tell me, I don't know Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh n...

When you've get some weed and know where to smoke Take a tumb tack and an empty coke can! Put some holes in it and break up your butt Throw it on the top and no...

I'm never satisfied with three meals a day {Well, well, this evening/While the work is sleeping I'll be munching away Gonna sneak into the kitchen Gonna tiptoe ...

(Kurt Cobain/Nirvana/Al Yankovic) What is this song all about? Can't figure any lyrics out How do the words to it go? I wish you'd tell me, I don't know Don't k...

Sometimes you feel like a nut Sometimes you don't Almond Joy's got nuts Mounds don't Almond Joy's got rich milk chocolate Coconut and honey nuts too Mounds got...

Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork) Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy) Spam in my lunchbox at work (it's the best) Really mak...

I've learned a few things in my life about snails They don't care for salt and they leave icky trails It's pretty darn hard to tell one from the udder And Frenc...

(Parody of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel) Poor Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn't have been any shier Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him Even if his hair was on fi...

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea Spongebob Squarepants Absorbent and yellow and pourous is he Spongebob Squarepants If nautical nonsense be something you ...

There's just one place to go for all your spatula needs: Spatula City! Spatula City! A giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion Thousands to choose from,...

Kirk: I am the captain of the Starship Enterprise Spock: Captain Kirk: This is Spock Please step on the transporter Scotty: Dilithium crystals! Hit by Klingon m...

(Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope) (R2-D2) Her name was Leia, she was a princess, with a danish on each ear, and Darth Vader drawing near so R2-D2 fo...

(Vader with Sidious/Emporer) It's not the east or the west side No it's not! It's not the north or the south side No it's not! It's the Dark side You are corre...

[parody of "mistake no 3" by culture club] The first steak I ordered, It wasn?t very hot I had to send it back, Let ?em have one more shot But the second steak...

Had to park my car for just five minutes I had to go inside to use the phone When I came back again, my car was gone Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone ...

Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass And there's no way you're going to slow it down You say we gotta treasure each moment Who knows how long we're g...

A man of intrigue, he lives for the thrill Always has places to go, and people to kill Danger is the game he plays, and he holds every card 'Cause if you wanna ...

I got my alligator boots I wear my pants skin tight I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night And when I look in the mirror, oh it's such an awesome...

My whole family Loves "Three's Company" See the reruns constantly There on my TV Syndicated Incorporated Well, I know what's on the tube I know just what too ...

I got my alligator boots I wear my pants skin tight I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night And when I look in the mirror, oh it's such an awesome...

Someday I'm gonna pack up And then I'm goin' back up To that place where sentimental feelings arouse Where the grass is so green And the air is so clean That w...

I'd like to do some more songs about buildings and food This is a song about liver, very high in protein, very good for ya Hope you like it I don't know why Yo...

I dated Siamese twins I slept with Bigfoot, too Get me on Sally Jesse Put me on Donahue 'Cause I wanna tell the whole world about it Right now My dog's a narco...

(G Mejia/C C Warren/Al Yankovic) Tacogrande Tacogrande Yo quero chimichangas y chile colorado Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado Las flautas y tamale, siem...

If a certain portion of "Weird Al" Yankovic's song Nature Trail To Hell from his "In 3-D" album was played in reverse, a message could be heard The Message is :...

What is the molten liquer? What gets you drunker quicker? What comes in bottles or in cans? Can't get enough of it, How we really love it, Makes me think I'm a ...

Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming After workin' all year down at Big Boy's Heating and Plumbing So one night, when my family and I were gathered 'ro...

The Brady Bunch Weird Al You can watch Mister Rogers, You can watch Three's Company, And you can turn on Fame, Or the Newlywed Game, Or the Addams Family Say,...

Well, hey how ya doin' have a seat have a drink Boy it's good to see you, what can I say? Oh, sorry gotta run we'll get together again Say, what was your name a...

Well, hey, how ya doin', have a seat, have a drink Boy, it's good to see you, what can I say Whoa, sorry, gotta run, we'll get together again Say, what was your...

the devil went to jamaica he was lookin' to sell some weed he was doin' fine they were standin' in line it was excellent weed indeed when he came across a young...

me me me me meeeeeee i am the great mighty poo and im going to throw my shit at you a huge suply of thish come from my chcolate star fish how about some scat y...

If I could stick my hand in my heart, Spill it all over the stage, Would it satisfy you, would it slide on by you, Would you think the boy is strange? Ain't it ...

Well, hey, how ya doin'? Have a seat Have a drink Boy, it's good to see ya What can I say? Wo, sorry, gotta run We'll get together again Say, what was your ...

(F Farian/B Nail/D Warren/A Yankovic) Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand But plumbing's one thing I don't understand It's true (haven't got a clue) B-b-...

A long long time ago in a galaxy far away Naboo was under an attack And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn Could talk the Federation into Maybe cutting them a little...

Some of them are hairy Some of them are bald Some are kind of scary And this is what they're called Vagina (vagina) Vagina (vagina) They call that thing vagina...

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accor...

The White Stuff Weird Al M Starr/Al Yankovic) The white stuffthe white stuff The first one was a sweet one Second one was a blast Soon I finished off the bag...

I eat filet mignon seven times a day My bathtub's filled with Perrier What can I say? This is the life! I buy a dozen cars when I'm in the mood I hire somebody...

This song's just 6 words long This song's just 6 words long This song's just 6 words long This song's just 6 words long Couldnt think of any lyrics No I never ...

It was a special day at the toys r us a big croud of people all making a fuss 4,000 in line and don't you know they'll do anything to get a tickle me elmo the d...

"i saw titanic that big buget chick flick i admit it wasnt that dum when the film was over and i went to stand up thats when i learned my butt was num three ho...

You're sort of famous A minor celebrity And so it only makes sense The world would be Obsessed with every Single thing you do They're running 'round With their...

They only show you their gums when they smile Ain't got a tooth in their headsnowhow vile Only can eat things like pudding and applesauce They never have to buy...

Fat and weak, what a disgrace Guess the champ got too lazy Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain But he'...

Seven O'Clock in the evening Watchin somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me She says "Is this 'Behind the ...

It's rotten So rotten here So rotten Oh It was like, the last day before trash day My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay Even though the garbage I knew would reek...

Trigger Happy Weird Al Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel all right Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night There's no feeli...

I'm drivin' a truck Drivin' a big ol' truck Pedal to the metal, hope I don't run out of luck Rollin' down the highway until the break of dawn Drivin' a truck wi...

(Al Yankovic) Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel all right Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night There's no feeling any gre...

(To the tune of 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua) Ken: Hey Barbie Barbie: Hey ken! Ken: Wanna go for a ride! Barbie: Sure Ken Ken: Well forget it! Im an ugly girl, my fa...

Put down your remote control, throw out your TV guide Put away your jacket, there's no need to go outside Don't you know that we control the horizontal We contr...

Yeah! Well, Milton Bradley's got a def one It's a Twister! (Twister! Twister! Twister!) Yeah, all the girls and homeboys Playin' Twister! (Twister! Twister...

My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet My life it won't be the same again Now I'm proud to say the king li...

Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please We wanna give you a warning 'Cause I found out this morning About a dangerous, insidious computer virus I...

My life, it used to be incomplete, Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet My life it won't be the same again Now I'm proud to say the king li...

It took a lifetime, but finally found The perfect waffle recipe You'll never find a batter any better in this whole stinkin' town One little bite any I'm sure y...

I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure, baby You're an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrica...

I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure, baby You're an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrica...

I gotta get off this planet Tatooine is such a hell hole Why the hell do I even bother? I ain't got no future here I probably spend the rest of my life here F...

Had ourselves a little barbeque Corn on the cob and mashed potatoes too Joe got the fritos, ernie got the stew So what did you bring We got the beef We got the...

Faces filled with joy and cheer What a magical time of year Howdy Ho! It's Weasel Stomping Day Put your Viking helmet on Spread that mayonaisse on the lawn Don...

It feels like I've been alone too long With no girls around, My mind was wondering, Thinking of some way, to release it I looked in the kitchen, Saw some crisc...

And if His eyes were pretty glazed If He looked spaced-out Would you buy His story Would you believe He had an eye infection And yeah yeah God looks baked Yeah ...

Hey girl, You know our economy's in the toilet But I'm still going to treat you right I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) I said you can have w...

And if His eyes were pretty glazed If He looked spaced-out Would you buy His story Would you believe He had an eye infection And yeah yeah God looks baked Yeah ...

We are on fire, We have desires, But one is that way, One backstreet boy is gay But we don't want to Be mean, Since now he's a queen, Don't ask me, Which backs...

Yeah We are on fire, we have desires But one is that way, one Backsteet Boy is gay When we don't want to be mean Since now he's a queen Don't ask please Which ...

They see me mowin' My front lawn I know they're all thinking I'm so White N' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy(nerday) ...

[parody of "whole lotta love" by led zeppelin] Wanna whole lotta lunch! Wanna whole lotta lunch! Wanna whole lotta lunch! Wanna whole lotta lunch! Way down in...

I was watching my TV one night when they broke in with a special report About dsome devistating earthquake in Peru There were thirty thousand crushed to death, ...

Original lyrics from : Rolling Stones, "Start me up" Well, I bought up Brought windows home, and d'cided to boot it up But when I load it up, It says my memory ...

It was just the other day When we went to Joe's Cafe Just to order up a couple steaks to eat But we noticed something wrong All the Worcestershire was gone But...

this crazy man called saddam hussein aint no doubt that the mans insane he better get used to feeling bribed in from the south put out his lights yackety yack b...

sorry to say, but, no matter how much i enjoy, and agree with Win 95 Sucks, this is not an Al work, neither is What if God Smoked Cannibasthese two are famous f...

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda, S O D A, soda I saw the little runt/wimp sitting there on a lo...

da din din da da din din da na tin tin na da din din da dit dit da terrigada dit na giggiteeta cut teeta guddygayna da terrigada dit na giggiteeta cut teeta gu...

We've been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong? Seems you don't want me around The passion is gone and the flame's d...

You don't take your showers You don't use Ban Roll On Please don't come near me anymore I'll throw up on the floor because you make me ill I remember when You...

You make me wanna slam my head against the wall You make me do the limbo You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall You make me watch the Gong Show There's rea...

My life is brilliant What, was I too early? Oh, sorry Should I - do you wanna start over, or Keep going? Okay now? Now? My life is brilliant Your life's a joke...

We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes Most of our brain cells are gone We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad Or we just might toilet paper yo...

AQUARIUS! There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A- Mole 17 ...