You thought that many, many years ago
You saw the last of every soldier show
But here we are, yes, here we are again
A lot of water's gone across the dam
Since we put make-up on for Uncle Sam
To treat you as our fathers treated you then
We were drafted by our president
And we march with banners unfurled
We were drilled and trained to represent
The greatest army in the world
Yes, the greatest army of actors in the world

Now don't get us wrong
We're not here for long
Our stay in the theater is brief
We're here with the show
To help get some dough
Some dough for the Army Relief
The much-needed Army Relief

But beneath the powder and beneath the paint
There's a soldier brave and true
If some guy in Congress tells you that we ain't
Let him do what we had to do
And go through what we went through

We all have been selected
From city and from farm
They asked us lots of questions
They jabbed us in the arm
We stood there at attention
Our faces turning red
The sergeant looked us over
And this is what he said

This is the Army, Mister Jones
No private rooms or telephones
You had your breakfast in bed before
But you won't have it there anymore

This is the Army, Mister Green
We like the barracks nice and clean
You had a housemaid to clean your floor
But she won't help you out anymore

Do what the buglers command
They're in the Army and not in a band

This is the Army, Mister Brown
You and your baby went to town
She had you worried but this is war
And she won't worry you anymore