Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the d...

"THE THANKSGIVING SONG" / Adam Sandler Transcribed by Noah Rollins, or Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey 'Cause it's good Love to east tu...

"And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hit...

When I was just a little wee lad I hopped on the lap of my dear old dad Something jumped and poked me good 'That' he said 'just me morning wood' A little tin so...

"And now, the sever beating of a high school bus driver" [Kids getting on the bus] "How are ya, Bryan?" "Good morning, Lisa" "Good to see ya, Tommy!" "Hey, go...

"And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor" [Mopping sounds] Mop, mop, mop All day long Mop, mop, mop While I sing this song [Sound of someone walk...

Performed by rob schneider "and now the severe beating of a high school science teacher" [lecturing] "zinc is by far the best element" "i also like plutonium...

"And now the severe beating of a high school spanish teacher" [Lecturing] [Writing on chalk board] "Juan es muy guapo" [Door opens, walking towards her] "H...

"And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college" [Dean:] "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations On...

"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian" [Valedictorian:] "I really appreciate you're asking me out Most people are intimi...

Adam Talking "Okay This is a song that uhh There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh not too many Hanukah songs So uhh I wrote a song for all those nic...

Put on your yarmulke Its time for Chanukah So much funnaka To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight...

Chanukah is the festival of lights One day of presents? Hell no, we get the eight crazy nights! But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christ...

[Sound of pom-poms] Cheerleader: [With annoying feminine voice] "Ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!" [Performing cheer] Cheerleader: "United, we are united We...

[Adam Sandler]: And now the excited Southerner has a job interview [Man]: So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company [Excite Souther...

[Adam Sandler]: And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop [Cop]: Do you realize how fast you were going sir? {Excited Southerner]: Yesyes I d...

[Adam Sandler]: And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson [Man]: Mr Gibson? I'm sorry to bother you sir but this gentle...

Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did I - first of all I just wanted to say that you're - - very pretty girl, and I, I -- hoo ...

ADAM: I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3 ft rope Am I happy? He don't give a fuck OLD MAN: Hey goat! I'm...

Jabawokee ding dong Slip slap slee Dipstick paddywhack Pee pee googalee gee Polly wolly sling slang Skooey dibbely doo Wing wong ping pong King Kong Cheech 'n C...

Time to take out the monorahs Put on your yamicas,its time for hannukah So puts Vanica to celebrate Hannukah Hannuhah is, a festival of lights Instead of one da...

Intro: this is a song, that uh, there's a lot of xmas songs out there, but not Too many about hanukkah, so I wrote a song for all those nice little jewish Kids ...

[typing sounds] Dr Stewart: Hi, [I'm] Dr Stewart Gary Phelps: Hi, Dr Stewart Nice to meet you -- I'm Gary Phelps Dr Stewart: My pleasure Gary, have you ever bee...

Transcribed By: Michael T Balonek My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team like to ...

[Line of people talking] "Hey man, let me in there first" -"Go ahead man, take it easy" "Thanks, I really gotta pee" [Open door, close door] [Unzip pants] [Star...

Hey Man Let me in there first Go ahead man, take it easy Thanks, I really gotta Pee (Peeing) (Ohhs) (More Peeing) Oh Man Oh Man Oh Man Oh Man Oh Man Oh Man (Sti...

Yo it's 2004 and all you candy asses thinkin ya'll real pussies ya'll ain't seen shit yet eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back it's the mother fuckin...

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose An...

Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights So when you feel like the only kid in town Without a Christmas tree ...

holy shit, this boat is sweet uncle donnie It must be fast and shit This fucking boat's got more balls then the fuckin celtic's lockeroom yeah but it musta cost...

Hey, alright, gather round, The Taliban is here! What bombs do you want? I got big bombs, little bombs, Cos I'm the Taliban, Who can take Osama, And hide him a...

Heres a little story about a hockey team who may just win the stanley cup but only in there dreams The team is from ottawa the senators is there name soon to be...

[Car approaches] Toll Booth Willie: "Welcome to Worchester Dollar twenty-five please" M1: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Willie?" Toll Booth Willie: "Good! Thank...

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "?Fuck' Out of all the English words that begin with the letter F, "?Fuck' i...

Hey there Mr Leaf Blower Man Keep it down for goodness sake It's way too early in the morning Can't you please use your wooden rake? You choose to ignore I Even...

Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help ...

(Speaking) Hey guys I just wanna thatnk ya for listening to my record I hope you had as much fun as i did Here's one last ditty, just for you (sing) I used t...

Well, I had myself a girlfriend For almost two whole years We had no secrets We had no fears There was nothing we wouldn't do When we were in the sack She'd eve...