To my momma

Take a look at my past, bet you'd wonder how I last
My life is fading right before my eyes, very fast
Reminisin' bout the mother that I never had
She split from all this shit and left me with dad
Goddamn, was it my fault, somethin' I'd done
To make my mother leave and forget her muthafuckin' son
Now I ain't seen her for thirteen muthafuckin' years
Where the fuck you at mom? I've shed so many fuckin' tears
You must not give a damn what the fuck happens to me
What about my older brother, you think that he doesn't see?
You and dad wasn't in love, why the fuck am I here?
Am I a mistake? Is that why you disappeared?
Now I'm madder than a muthafucka, take a shot of liquor
I know it ain't good, but it will get me off this Earth quicker
I wish I could go back and miscarriage my birth
Ain't nothin' worth livin' for on this hopeless Earth

Dear momma, reall what the fuck can I say?
I don't even know you, does it have to be this way?
Don't a fuckin' minute pass that you ain't on my mind
Without you in my life, I feel so blind

My father tells me about you, I don't know if it's true
He said you never cared for me, so why the fuck should I care for you?
Is it true? Do you hate me? Am I not your child?
If I ever met you, would you be in denial?
Tell me why there's so much hate between you two
Everytime I ask my dad it falls right back on you
If you wuz never in love, what took so long to find out?
You had my brother four years before I wuz planned out
Life's just fucked up, this shit just isn't fair
I don't even know you and you don't even fuckin' care
For all I know, you may not even be alive
Goddamn, if you ain't I won't even cry
If you are gone I probably won't feel any anger
My feelings won't let me cry for a muthafuckin' stranger


I'm just writin' you this song to let you know how I feel
I play life like it's a game, but shit is just so real
Now I understand why I just don't give a fuck
With all this pain in my brain, I feel like I'm stuck
So, I'm smokin' weed and doin' thangs I ain't supposed to do
Well, it looks to me like I'm takin' right after you
So, momma if you hear me, I ain't too far
I won't live long, cuz life is just too hard


I dedicate this song to my muthafuckin' momma
To anyone without a momma, y'all know how it feels
Life's harder than a muthafucka, exspecially not knowin' your momma
But keep it real, you gotta keep your head up, that's my word

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